Humor, Seriously

Key Concepts

The impact comes from levity, not just humor

“From a research perspective, humor is serious business. And it’s vastly underleveraged in most workplaces today. For some, this stems from a fundamental misunderstanding about humor’s benefits: the belief that gravity and levity are at odds. But the research tells a different story. That in fact, when we refuse to take ourselves so seriously, we relieve the stress standing in the way of serious work, create more meaningful connections with our colleagues, and open our minds to more innovative solutions.” (p. 12)

“Remember, the bar for humor in the business world is extremely low. The goal isn’t to elicit raucous, rolling-on-the-floor laughter; it’s simply to create a moment of connection. Often, all it takes is a mindset of levity to transform a relationship or moment.” (p. 37)

“Levity is a mindset—an inherent state of receptiveness to (and active seeking of) joy. Both levity and movement relate to how we navigate the world: naturally, and often without thinking.” (p. 38)

The Four Deadly Humor Myths

THE SERIOUS BUSINESS MYTH

“A large portion of our respondents reported believing that humor simply has no place amid serious work. Early in our careers, this myth often stems from insecurity about our lack of experience. (This is before we’re experienced enough to know nobody really knows anything.) We worry about harming our credibility and not being taken seriously.” (p. 26)

“And beyond the signals we send to our employees, a culture that balances serious work with levity and play can actually improve team performance. In a study involving more than fifty teams, researchers analyzed prerecorded team meetings as well as supervisors’ ratings of team performance, both immediately and again two years later. The presence of humor in team interactions predicted more functional communication and higher team performance both in the moment and over time. Playful cultures allow teams to thrive, even (and especially) when the stakes are high and the times are hard.” (p. 27)

THE FAILURE MYTH

“We wish we had a dollar for every time we’ve heard a student or client express a deep, paralyzing fear that their humor will fail.” (p. 29)

THE BEING FUNNY MYTH

“Now we come to one of the trickiest myths: that in order to use humor and levity in the workplace, you have to ‘be funny.’ Seems logical, right? But believe it or not, what’s far more important than “being funny” is simply signaling that you have a sense of humor.” (p. 31)

“So how exactly do you signal you have a sense of humor? Sometimes, it’s as simple as laughing at others’ jokes, or jumping on opportunities to lighten the mood. Even a friendly smile can work wonders. As former Twitter CEO Dick Costolo puts it, ‘You don’t have to be the quickest wit in the room. The easiest way to have more humor at work is not to try to be funny—instead, just look for moments to laugh.’” (p. 31)

THE BORN WITH IT MYTH

“Comedians need both talent and training to succeed. But too many people are under the impression that humor is an innate ability, not a skill you can learn.” (p. 34)

“Your Brain on Humor”

“When we laugh, our brains release a cocktail of hormones that make us feel happier (dopamine), more trusting (oxytocin), less stressed (lowered cortisol), and even slightly euphoric (endorphins). By working humor into our professional interactions, we can serve our colleagues this powerful hormone cocktail, and in doing so we can literally change their—and our—brain chemistry on the spot.” (p. 44)

“But the neuroscience is only one part of the story. There’s also a wealth of behavioral research linking the use of humor in business to increase: 

• “Power, by enhancing others’ perceptions of our status and intelligence, influencing their behavior and decision making, and making our ideas more memorable. 

• “Bonds, by quickening the path to trust and self-disclosure in new relationships, and making us feel more satisfied with our relationships over time.

• “Creativity, by helping us see connections we previously missed, and making us feel psychologically safe enough to share our risky or unconventional ideas. 

• “Resilience, by reducing stress in the moment, allowing us to bounce back more quickly from setbacks.” (p. 44)

“The Anatomy of Funny”

PRINCIPLE #1: AT THE HEART OF HUMOR IS TRUTH

“Shared truths create the foundation for humor. So instead of asking yourself what is funny, start by asking what is true. We’ll find humor from there.” (p. 69)

PRINCIPLE #2: ALL HUMOR CONTAINS SURPRISE AND MISDIRECTION

“Plenty of humor falls flat not for lack of a clever idea, but for lack of misdirection. Either the expectation isn’t adequately established or the punch line doesn’t adequately defy it.” (p. 70)

“Shifting Mindsets and Unlocking Creativity on Teams” 

“Starting a work session with levity is a powerful way to establish a positive mindset, break us out of established habits and mental patterns (at least temporarily), and ensure that everyone is primed for their best work.” (p. 119)

“Humans are social creatures; we’re inclined to mirror the highest-status individual in our midst, which means that leaders can keep things light and create the conditions necessary for good work by walking the walk.” (p. 121)

“Humor encourages a kind of mental gymnastics that reveals connections, patterns, and interpretations we’d previously missed. It widens our perspective, makes us feel psychologically safe, and creates fertile ground for creativity to thrive. In the wise words of the Dalai Lama, ‘Laughter is good for thinking because when people laugh, it is easier for them to admit new ideas to their minds.’” (p. 123)

“Leading with Humor”

“So how can today’s leaders inspire trust in their employees? A 2019 survey asked employees just that; the top responses—like “knowing the obstacles the leader overcame to be successful” and “speaks like regular people”—told a consistent story: Today’s employees yearn for leaders who are less mysteriously brilliant and more authentically relatable. Aspirational, yes—but not without flaws. In short, it used to be that leaders were revered; now they need to be understood.” (p. 134)

“At one point in the American workplace, such an interaction between a CEO and the rank and file would have been unthinkable. But today, pedestals are out and approachability is in. According to a 2018 Gallup report on U.S. workplace engagement, an approachable manager can increase employee engagement by more than 30 percent. Moreover, employees who felt they could open up and talk to their manager about non-work-related issues were seven times more engaged than those who felt non-work conversations were off limits.” (p. 146)

“For Dick Costolo, being self-effacing isn’t just a way to earn likability points—it’s also critical to his success as a leader. As he explained: ‘My job as a leader isn’t to prevent mistakes from happening; my job as a leader is to correct them as quickly as possible when they do happen. However, if nobody feels comfortable bringing me the bad news—it’s going to take me a lot longer to correct those mistakes.’” (p. 147)

“Creating a Culture of Levity”

“This is a theory validated by research: In a study of 352 employees across 54 teams, researchers Nale Lehmann-Willenbrock and Joseph Allen videotaped hourlong team meetings and then analyzed supervisors’ ratings of team performance. The teams that had humor demonstrated more functional communication and problem-solving behaviors, and performed better as a team, both during the meeting itself and over time.” (p. 155)

“Unsurprisingly, leaders have a disproportionate influence on organizational culture. One of the most effective ways we’ve seen leaders engender a culture of levity is by publicly embodying—and enabling—humor, sending strong, consistent signals that levity and play are desired and embraced.” (p. 156)

“At Pixar, Ed Catmull saw the zany rituals that filled the halls with laughter, delight, and cute furry monsters as the true connective tissue of the company. But he’s never believed that it’s a leader’s job to try to dictate the terms of culture from on high. As he says: ‘Fun is not a top-down thing.’” (p. 161)

“The Gray Areas of Humor”

“Our friend Anne Libera, a longtime director at The Second City theater and a professor at Columbia College Chicago who oversees the first B.A. degree in Comedy Writing and Performance in the United States, has a theory of comedy that helps shed some nuance on the gray areas of humor. Her theory looks at comedy as having three key components: truth, pain, and distance.” (p. 181)

“If dialed correctly, they are the source of brilliant humor; if misapplied, they can offend and divide. So understanding them is key to being able to shift your humor according to context, status, and situation—and also understanding, in retrospect, why your humor may have crossed the line.” (p. 181)

“So the best you can do when trying to navigate them is to keep the following in mind:

• “Examine the truth: What if you remove the humor from the truth? Does the comment still feel appropriate to share in this context and to this audience?

• “Consider the pain and distance: How great is the pain? Is it distant enough to laugh about? Or does it hit too close to home? Am I close enough to this person or group—or do I have enough personal experience with the source of the pain—to feel confident joking about it?

• “Read the room: Reading the room isn’t just about trying to understand what will make your listeners laugh. It’s also about trying to understand how it will make them feel. Are people in the mood to take a joke? Are there cultural differences or other circumstances to take into account?” (p. 186)

Quotables

“Pixar has faced many problems since its inception. Difficult, serious problems. Money problems, culture problems, losing fantastic team members who defined us…problems. In these moments, what I found was that what I said as a leader didn’t matter—they were just words that washed away; what people grabbed on to was how I behaved. One has to admit failures and take actions that demonstrate real values.” (p. 8)

“Or in the words of Tina Fey, ‘You can always tell how smart someone is by what they laugh at.’” (p. 48)

“‘Fear is the greatest killer of creativity,’ Asai explained, ‘and humor is the most effective tool I’ve found for insulating cultures from fear.’” (p. 55)

“In words attributed to Albert Einstein, ‘Creativity is intelligence having fun.’ Let your intelligence live a little.” (p. 55)

“Self-deprecate with caution. Being self-deprecating is a smart strategy for a CEO with a killer résumé. But for someone relatively early in their career, it can be risky—especially if the subject of self-deprecation is a skill or competency relevant to the job.” (p. 108)

The Bad Idea Brainstorm: “If I say, ‘Go brainstorm good ideas,’ ” says Teller, “then people will think, ‘Oh, God, everything I say has to be a good idea.’ ” Using the word “good,” he says, puts limits on the way his team thinks. But if he specifically requests “the silliest, stupidest ideas,” people often come up with crazier—and often better—solutions. These brainstorms are full of ludicrous ideas and raucous laughter, but they also yield brilliant results. ...He says that there’s “a voice in your head that says ‘Don’t say silly things’ ”—but that when your brain censors your silliest thoughts, it’s also censoring your most brilliant ones. “There are no genius ideas that don’t sound crazy at first.” (p. 124)

“Humor is a superpower, but unlike invisibility, laser vision, and being superhuman, it’s one we all secretly possess.” (p. 152)

“Meeting or exceeding the expectations of others can be an intoxicating source of pride. But when we focus too much energy on reaching an outcome or portraying a certain version of ourselves, we can lose our grounding along the way. Humor empowers us to share parts of ourselves that are risky, unconventional, and authentic—thereby shifting others’ expectations to ones that are more personally true, and providing the perspective to care less about ones that don’t matter.” (p. 204)

“Joy is not a happy accident, but a choice we make: a thing we allow ourselves to seek and find. It’s about being more generous with your laughter and finding delightful moments in the day. When you don’t take yourself too seriously—you laugh effortlessly. And that is when joy flows.” (p. 205)

“Where there is love, humor is not far behind. There are few tiny acts as easy and generous as sharing a laugh with someone—these moments, though fleeting, are tiny expressions of love. And by quickening the path to trust and self-disclosure, relationships are strengthened. When laughter cuts through tension and divisiveness to forge connection, humor and levity enable love.” (p. 205)

Michael Lewis: “I think most of the people who pick up this book are going to be people who think to themselves, “I need to be funny.” But they’re going to find out that that’s not what they need. What they need is to introduce a totally different spirit into their lives.” (p. 209)