Unlocking Next-Level Communication

“It’s very hard—if not impossible—to tell a good story that’s poorly constructed.” That’s a quote from David Pearl’s Story for Leaders. 

This past week, I supported two workshops led by Pearl in which leaders learned how to structure their business stories to be more impactful. But while the structure helped many people tell good stories, there were some common themes that differentiated the good stories from the great ones.

Sharing here:

1. Avoid “floss more” arguments. 

For me, a “floss more” argument is one that focuses mainly on the logical and positive reasons for an initiative or decision, even though that logic is already known. It’s like when my dentist reminds me to floss more. 

Yeah, I already know. The logical argument isn’t the reason why I don’t hit 7 days a week on flossing!

One way to spot a “floss more” argument is that it's something that comes up over and over again in the organization, partly because it’s widely accepted, but not acted upon. Some examples I’ve seen:

We should have more diversity. 

We should be more agile. 

We should be more customer-focused.

In these cases, to avoid making yet another “floss more” argument, focus your communication on what’s new and what gets in the way of doing the thing that people “already know”—e.g., the emotional barriers and unspoken but competing commitments.

Tactically, this means asking ourselves: 

• How much of this argument is already known and accepted? 

• What are the valid and legitimate reasons for them to say “No”? 

• What would cause someone to say “Yes” today, but take no action tomorrow?   

The answers to those questions can help get to the essential elements of the communication. 

2. Make the ask “physical.”

Another strategy for clarifying a communication is to ask: What’s the physical action I need them to take?

For example, we often make the asks in our business stories things like: 

• I want you to focus on… 

• I want you to be intentional about…

• I need your support to…

But if you reframe those requests using the physical actions associated with them, it can sharpen the ask. For example: 

Rather than saying, “focus on,” you can say: I want you to stop doing [activity X] and start doing [activity Y].

Rather than saying, “be intentional about,”  you can say: Over the next two weeks, I’ve scheduled 10 hours of team time for us to solve this; I want you to clear your schedule for it.

And rather than saying, “support,” you can say: I want you to call Jerry and request $500,000 for this initiative.

The first advantage of thinking of physical actions is that it clarifies the request in the minds of the people you’re talking to. As JetBlue’s former CEO David Barger said, “You have to be able to simplify things that are complex. At the end of the day, if the 13,000 people on the front lines don’t understand what you’re trying to do, forget it. You don’t stand a chance of making it work.”

The second advantage is that the physical action helps to clarify the alternative action to the one you want, which can help you focus on the choice you’re asking people to make. 

For example, it’s one thing to build an argument around, say, convincing your spouse to start sleep training your infant. The logic of that idea is simple, and it’s easy to say Yes to.

But if building an argument around the actual physical action and choice—Tonight, even when the baby cries, we’re going to leave her alone.—the importance of speaking to the emotional experience, the drawbacks of waiting (the alternative choice), and the plan to overcome the implementation challenges becomes obvious. 

In that sense, making the ask physical is what helps you set up the most impactful conversation.

3. Find a dumb friend. 

Many leaders are so immersed in the details of their work that they load down their communications in jargon and unnecessary details. And because they’re so close to the content, they lose the perspective to be able to edit on their own.

Finding a friend who’s dumb about your topic can provide that perspective. 

When I’m providing communication feedback to leaders, I simply ask: “I don’t fully get it. Could you state it another way?”

And because their response is almost always clearer and more simple, they typically conclude on their own: “...I guess I should just say it that way.” Or, “Saying it out loud just now, I can see that the most important part of this is…”

The clarity that comes from this type of exchange is often the difference between a solid communication and one that breaks through. So find a dumb friend to help you. 

And if you don’t have that, find a smart friend who can play dumb.