Always-On Empathy
“‘This touchy-feely stuff isn’t in the manual,’ Bradley [Horowitz] says. ‘It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the work of what we’re producing, and not how we’re doing it. But leading teams becomes a lot more joyful when you know and care about people. It’s freeing.”
— One of the many lessons from Bill Campbell, cited in Trillion Dollar Coach
It’s almost trite to say that the last year has been traumatic—from videotaped killings to the pain and death caused by the pandemic.
Through that turmoil, the stock advice for leaders has been to recognize what employees are experiencing, to show empathy, and to give them leeway to cope with these “unprecedented” situations. Indeed, some leaders were learning this for the first time!
This week, prompted by the quickening pace of the vaccine rollout and by news articles speculating on getting back to normal, I was reflecting on what “normal” actually entails.
Yes, the high-profile killings were traumatic, especially as they were replayed repeatedly on TV. But they weren’t the first, nor will they be the last. And despite what we’d like our company cultures to be, there are almost certainly colleagues whose treatment by others is negatively affected by their identities. That’s part of our “normal.”
Yes, the pandemic caused an economic recession, with the accompanying trauma of job loss and business failures. But for households with fragile finances—basically, half of the country—they are in recession all the time.
And, yes, the pandemic has led to a stunning decrease in the participation of women in the workforce. But as we’re reminded on Equal Pay Day this time each year, there’s always been inequality in the workplace, and navigating parenthood and work is never easy.
The main point: the “normal” we'll return to will require just as much empathy from leaders.
If we’re thinking that we can just return to our 2019 leadership strategies, that’s a mistake.
If we’re thinking that normal will come with a flick of a switch, that’s a mistake. Tactically, not everyone will get the vaccine at the same time, and everyone’s childcare and education situation will return to normal at different times.
And having gone through a particularly tough year, if we’re thinking that normal will be easy, that’s a mistake. And with the mass shootings in Atlanta and Boulder just this past week, we’re reminded of just how traumatic normal can be.
I’d suggest this: because there’s always-on trauma in society, we need always-on empathy from leaders.
And because the post-pandemic “new normal” will both be new and carry all of the baggage of normal, we need to maintain the listening and learning mindset that we’ve had so much practice with this past year.
I suspect that teams whose leaders have that approach will both meet the needs of colleagues and move faster to tackle whatever challenges are around the corner.